Happy Thanksgiving, from Our Family to Yours

Family Pictures.

On Sunday my cousins wife, Chelsey, came over and took family pictures for us. We had a blast. She is so fun and so talented! She sent us 3 preview pictures yesterday. All photos courtesy of Chelsey Froberg.

Just something I want to remember:

Last night when we got home from work with Ole he kept looking at the laundry basket and smiling and talking. He put his arm out like he wanted to touch the laundry so I moved him to it and he touched the clothes and got so excited he overwhelmed himself. It cracked Joe and I up. I can't wait to keep watching him grow.

A peek of Ole's life at 11 weeks old.

I'm hoping I can keep up on blogging now that I'm back at work. Ole is growing so fast and learning so much. I swear he does something new every day. Yesterday he grabbed a toy for the first time. It's funny how something that might seem so small to someone else seems HUGE to us as parents.
He cracks me up. He reminds me so much of Joe and I. He loves being the center of attention and literally gets pissed off if he's not. He will yell until all the attention is on him and then smile like nothing happened once you are looking at him. 
Saturday he slept through the night for the first time. It was incredible! I honestly felt tired from too much sleep. What a feeling. Haven't felt that since I was probably 3 months pregnant? So it's been a while. We also had some family pictures taken by my cousins wife Chelsey. She was so fun. The biggest spider I've ever seen (besides our tarantula) crawled across our floor and she immediately ran and grabbed a paper towel and caught it. I couldn't believe it. I was terrified! She said she isn't scared of spiders. I was in awe. And when I say it was the biggest spider I've ever seen I am not exaggerating. She even agreed. Joe was in the other room but I made him look in the paper towel and he too agreed it was a monster. I couldn't sleep parts of last night thinking about it. I've never been that way before! YUCK!
Speaking of last night, our little monster decided 3 am would be a fun time to wake up and stay awake. He hasn't done that since he was a newborn-newborn. I tried for an hour to get him back to sleep. Joe got up with us at 4 and I tried to go back to bed. Then I heard a little voice in the living room talking to every thing and knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. Ole was talking to everything. The laundry basket, the dog, the diaper bag. All with a huge smile on his face. We told him he's lucky he's cute because that was quite the hour to be awake. This is after Joe and I decided to stay up after he went to sleep to watch Destination Truth thinking that he would sleep through the night again and we'd get some good sleep. Monday isn't the funnest day to be this tired.
Anyway here are this weeks pictures.

Baby Joe. This is Ole's bratty face. He wasn't crying, he wasn't even really upset. Just yelling at me to get some attention. I swear to God Joe makes this same exact face. I wish I had a picture of it.

Joe had 9 months sober this past week. Proud of him. Seems like he deserves a little more then a keychain but whatevs!

My sweet boy. I love how cool kids can dress. This outfit doesn't match at all but it looks rad. I hope he always dresses as cool as I dress him... HA!

Olz lovin' the sling. He likes being able to be held, face out and watch what I'm doing. This picture is also really special to me because I think he looks like my Grandma's brother.

Won't take a pacifier but is really starting to love that thumb. Just like his parents. 

He has started batting at the toys on his mat this week. I was so proud. He also loves to talk to the animals that dangle down. Hilarious.

...Ole is either going to love or hate us when he gets older. Sometimes I wonder how Joe and I found each other. We're definitely soul mates. This is what we do when we have a little time to ourselves when the baby is sleeping... take stupid pictures of ourselves and laugh at how funny we think we are.

My new favorite picture of this stud. Trying to get that stinker to fall asleep because he was exhausted. He usually melts in Daddy's arms but he kept noticing me and a huge smile would bust out on his face. His eyelids would get heavy and then he'd see me and that big smile would spread across his sweet face. I almost cried it melted me so much.

He just noticed the bears on his feet. He couldn't stop staring at them, talking to them and smiling at them. I love this kid.

My baby is 10 weeks old

I am back at work now. It's my 2nd day back and so far so good. It's amazing how fast time flies once you have a kid! I feel like the first month of Ole's life didn't even happen. It was all survival! For the first month I didn't take any breaks from him really. It was all him and I and nursing. I thought I was getting PPD but then I took a nap and realized I was just exhausted. I also thought nursing wasn't going to be for me because of my D-Mer and in the beginning how much work it was for me. Now I love it and I am so thankful that I didn't stop. I nursed in public the other day and I felt completely feminine and empowered. Before having Ole I didn't realize just how beautiful breastfeeding is. It was never weird to me and I never felt uncomfortable by people breastfeeding but now I find it just completely beautiful. The bond that you feel with your baby is completely amazing. I started writing this post before I pumped at work and started leaking, so now that I've pumped I feel like I can finish this. ;) I am now on the normalize breastfeeding wagon. I love when I see women breastfeeding in public and want to hug all of them. 

Ole is growing like a weed. He is wearing 6 month size clothes already. Not because he is chunky, but because he's so long. He had his 2 month appointment on Friday and the doctor said he is the strongest 2 month old she's ever seen. Talk about a mom being proud.

Joe is becoming an even more amazing man/father then he was right after he was born. I heard a phrase the other day that makes me laugh. Mom-porn. I was sick this weekend and my head was so foggy I couldn't think. Ole got fussy and all my head could think was "nurse-diaper. Nurse-diaper." Thank goodness for his Daddy and how easily he comforts him. Mom-porn.

Some days I feel more comfortable in my mom abilities and some days I feel lost. But I think most days it just gets easier. It's crazy how much being a mom changes you. Not being pregnant, but actually having the baby. I changed with pregnancy too but now that he's here I feel more me then ever. Stronger. Joe and I realized we're attachment parenters. And we're ok with that and love it. We wear him, we share a bed, we breastfeed. And we love all of it. At first sleeping with him was just convenience. And then we realized we loved it. Hearing his little breath in the night, snuggling, waking up to his smiling face. It's amazing. I feel so lucky to have Joe as my partner and growing with him and having him be my babies father. I didn't think we'd be so on the same page with parenting but we have been and it's been incredible!

The only thing I'm looking forward to is getting a bit more of my identity back. I just started really finding myself when I was pregnant and I am looking forward to keeping on in my newly discovered hobbies. Such as cooking, holistic living/naturopathic medicine, exercise, minimalism, gardening/composting and now being an advocate for breastfeeding.

I have so many pictures I want to share. Here are a few.

 

Olz in the bath with a washrag on his head to lightly scrub his cradle cap. (For those of you who want to know how to get rid of this naturally: if breastfeeding take biotin and zinc, warm wash rag on head and lightly scrub, apply coconut oil)

 

One of my faves... Joe and Ole talking about Halloween and Gramma's house. I love how much Ole loves his Dad. The other morning they sat on the couch and seriously just talked for an hour. Gramma and Joe both say he's going to have a mouth like me. LOL

Ole got to meet his cousin Jesse and Aunt Shelby for the first time. Ole loved Jesse. He couldn't stop staring at him and trying to talk to him. I love the little stinker smile on Ole's face in this picture.

Jesse holding Ole's hand. Melt!

 

  Just Ole being adorable. He's funny cause he loves having his diaper changed and sitting on his changing table. If he's fussy we can just lay him on the table and he just looks around and smiles. Easy kid.

 Long and lean just like his Daddy. Joe doing a bratty face.

 Sweet snuggles. <3

 Ole in his new sling. Lookin' cute. I think I look buff in this picture. No big deal.

 Superman on his first Halloween.

 Ole and Uncle Towner. It surprises me how good Towner is with him and how much he loves him. He loves to hold him and rub his head and smell him. He always says "He smells so good!" He also asks me hilarious questions like "what's your breast milk taste like?" And if Ole was born with his eyes open or if they were closed like how kittens are. He cracks me up.

 This picture cracks me up. Our sweet little boy just trying to take a bath and our creepy cat just watching him.

I really hope to keep updating more, life just flies by these days.

My Smiley Boy

There are so many things I want to update and say and remember but this boy eats every 2 hours on the dot. Between napping, showering, eating and using the bathroom it is hard to find a spare moment to blog.
I am totally in love with this beautiful boy. He melts my heart. He also has the best daddy in the world who I am also completely in love with. I couldn't have asked for a better father for my boy.
I'll update soon but I leave you with pictures of the cutest little buddha boy ever.

Ole Joseph Dean's Birth Story

A couple days before September 7th I started leaking. At first I wasn't sure if I was just peein' myself...often... or if my water was slowly breaking. I'd heard of that happening and I was pretty sure that was going on. I called my midwives, they were pretty sure I wasn't leaking but I had an appointment the next day so if it got worse I would see them then. When I went in my midwife Eloisa did a strip test. It said it was amnioitic fluid. However she said the test wasn't a 100% sure thing. So we'd need to do a slide test. Getting the fluid on that slide took some effort, but suddenly there was another burst of fluid. She told me to go ahead and head to work and she'd call me within the hour to let me know the results. 
I went to work.. an hour went by.. two hours.. three hours.. finally she called. She said it had taken that long to dry and sure enough my water had broke. She said I must have a high tear and we needed to get labor moving. She told me to go home, drink a thing of castor oil and do my breast pump to try and induce labor. I was so excited. I couldn't think. I was going to meet my little boy within the day. I was scared.. I was also going to know what labor was all about within the day. I called Joe. He was freaking out. "Do I meet you at the birth center?! Do I go now?!" We had carpooled that morning and I had the car. "No, I'm going to come get you!" I went to get him and we were both so excited we couldn't think and were just giggling messes. We ended up staying in town so that once labor was going and we were to head to the birth center we wouldn't have to drive an hour. We stayed at his Grandpa's old house.
I drank the castor oil, I did the pump... I didn't feel much. A couple contractions here and there but nothing to get worked up over. My midwife told me to get some sleep so that when labor started I would have energy.. Like I could sleep. I got some short bursts here and there but nothing big.
Still nothing.
By 9 the next morning after the castor oil had run it's course I was pretty sure it wasn't happening. Eloisa called and said I needed to go to the hospital to be induced. This was not a part of my birth plan. I remember I kept saying as things progressed "this is not a part of the plan! Why did I even write a birth plan?!" My biggest fear the whole time was being induced, and here it was happening.. But at the same time I didn't really care. I wanted my baby out and I wanted him to be safe.
When we got to the hospital things moved quickly. Immediately the midwife (who I had never met before, but my midwives had called to be with me and deliver Ole) told me she needed to break the rest of my waters. I was scared! She did it, it was painless and the gush was HUGE. They told me this would hopefully get my body moving. They hooked me up to the pitocin. I told them I was scared, I didn't want to all of the sudden be in intense labor. They assured me this wouldn't happen, they were only putting it on 1. 
Of course, intense labor is exactly what happened. I couldn't think. And the castor oil seemed to be hitting me again.. Great. I was on the toilet, unable to move, unable to think. I tried to do our labor distractions. Nothing was working. It was intense. Finally I was able to move from the toilet to the birth ball. I was being told to rock, sway my hips, lean on the bed. But I couldn't. I just sat, staring at Joe, flailing my hands about and saying "I can't do this. I can't believe this." Then suddenly feeling like I needed to puke. I didn't, but it didn't feel great. This went on for about 2 hours. The midwife told me she wanted to check me. I was only to 4. I have never felt so defeated. I had told the nurses not to offer me pain medication. I wanted to do this naturally. My nurse came in and told me "I know you said not to offer you pain medication, but the anethesiologist is leaving soon so if you end up wanting an epidural he won't be here and we will have to call him back in... Pitocin labor is nothing like natural labor. What you are going through is really intense, you don't need to be a hero and try to do this without meds."
I told her to get me the epidural. I couldn't relax, my body wasn't opening, and I sure as hell couldn't handle what was going on. At that point my contractions were about 2 mins long with anywhere from 10-30 seconds of rest in between. And when I say rest I mean the contractions weren't at the peak, but they also weren't stopping. It was non stop.
Then I got the epidural and we all know how that goes.
Joe's aunt randomly came by. I can't really remember the situation but she took some pics.

Sometime after this I started feeling like he was low and ready to go. I told them I felt pressure. They checked me and sure enough I was to 10. I could begin pushing.
I pushed.. and pushed...
They could see his little head.
Joe could see his head.
Every time I pushed they told me I was doing such a good job.
But he wasn't coming out. 
I was confused.
If they could see his head and I was pushing so hard, why wasn't he poppin' out? Hours had gone by.
I was getting nervous but I didn't say anything.
They had me try new positions. I pushed my ass off for almost 4 hours.
Finally the midwife told me she didn't think it was happening and was going to get the doctor. They needed to either try forceps or a vacuum.
I didn't want to hear this.
Why wasn't my body doing anything like it was supposed to?
I was frustrated, exhausted, but still... excited to meet my boy. And I knew the time was close.
The doctor came in and told me we could try forceps.
They a bunch of other nurses came in.
I asked our doula, Hayley, if in her almost 10 years of being a doula she had ever seen anyone have forceps used... she hadn't. My heart pounded.
I hadn't heard good things about forceps... Or pitocin... Or vacuums...
And here I had planned a natural birth at the birth center.
Then the doctor had the forceps out and was telling me I would feel some pressure. If you have never seen the forceps they use... I assure you, they are nothing like the salad tongs I was imaging. It is 2 huge steel rods and just absolutely terrifying. Then when she put them in and started opening the rods. I couldn't take it. She told me I would have to try pushing with those things in me. I couldn't do it. It was the worst pain I have ever experienced. Nothing about it felt natural. I don't think I've ever been so scared. She took them out and told me we could try again. I heard her whisper to the midwife that she didn't think this was happening. She couldn't get the forceps around his head.
I forgot to mention that at this point the epidural had ran out. So here I am with the pitocin turned up to 3, dilated to 10 and full of forceps! I am glad I got to experience what being dilated to 10 and active labor felt like, however I could have done without knowing what forceps feel like.
She tried again with the forceps... This time she told me "I can't get the forceps around his head, we're going to have to do a c-section."
I couldn't believe it. All this work, all this planning for natural birth and I wasn't even capable of having my baby naturally.
Again, I brushed this off because he was going to be here. Within the hour.
...And I was terrified. 
Luckily all the staff was amazing. They calmed me. Joe was calm. Everyone was so calm. At this point our doula left and Joe and I were off to the delivery room.
I could feel some pressure of them cutting me and trying to grab him.. he was so low they had to go in my vagina and push him up. Then all of the sudden I heard his little cry. He was here. He was ok. I just started crying and looking at Joe. They wrapped him up and put him on my chest. I couldn't see his face, I needed to see that face. Someone moved him and there he was. His beautiful face. They gave me what just seemed like seconds with him and then him and Joe were off to the nursery to weigh him and measure him and I went off to recovery. I wasn't sad.  I knew Joe would be with him and everything would be ok. The only thing I was worried about was not being able to nurse him within the hour. But I knew he was in good hands. 
Recovery felt like it took forever. But finally I was back with my family and little Ole Joseph Dean was here. All 8lbs 6 oz and 19 inches of him.

38 weeks

I keep trying to remind myself that in about 2 weeks little Ole will be here. I have been having a tough past couple weeks. It seems like every day gets a bit harder. Back is hurtin' pretty bad, I sleep in hour increments due to pain and peeing, my feet and ankles are huge and beyond all of this we had to move this past weekend. I say we, but in all honesty Joe did it all. He's pretty amazing. The in a nutshell version of why we had to move was our house became infested with beetles, mice and maggots that fell from the ceiling. Luckily Joe's aunt had a rental house become available this past weekend.. and double luckily it is beautiful and the price is the same as our last house. It's 2 bedrooms, newly remodeled everything, big yard and way bigger then our last house. I would like to note that I went to my parents house while Joe and his family moved everything and I never saw the house we would be moving in to before we moved. It was quite exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. 
Here are some pics from the new place:

 The kitchen

Zaps on the stairs

Our room

Ole's room

Mud Room

And here are some pics my parents took of me this weekend while I relaxed and my Joe love moved us: